Maybe I'm reading these things 'cause, being adopted myself, I get a vicarious little thrill from reading it from the other side. ::start idle, potentially offensive maundering::
One of the things I simply don't "get," though, is all this grieving about infertility. Gimme a break. Even if the child doesn't issue from your loins, that doesn't mean the child won't grow in your heart. Not to mention that overzealous devotion to "blood" meant nothing but a lifetime of subtle exclusion to me, and I simply don't approve of people who manifest that mentality. On principle. Especially at the cost of tens of thousands of dollars at fertility clinics when that money would be much better spent on a child who needs you RIGHT NOW. And, as for myself, I don't even know whether, if I decided I wanted a child someday, I'd want to give birth to a child of my own. I suspect I might be MORE inclined to adopt. I LIKE the fact that no one in my world is at all like me. I LIKE being unique. But maybe that's a result of being adopted, as well. ::end maundering::Savage, Dan. The Kid (What Happened after My Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant): An Adoption Story. New York: Dutton, 1999.Summary
: Syndicated sex-advice columnist Dan Savage recounts the story of the adoption of his and his boyfriend Terry's son Daryl Jude (D.J.). Comments
: I've not the slightest clue why I'm on an adoption narrative shtick lately, but that's what it is, so here I am. Unlike the later The Martian Child
, this is not about a gentle, middle-aged, single gay guy opening his heart to a troubled young boy. This is about two of the "wrong sort" of gay men trying to have it all and getting it, in the form of what Savage calls The Great White Infant. (And not just that--their adoptee ends up being blond-haired, blue-eyed, male, and, at least according to Savage, wonderfully good-natured.) Anyway, this book is surely invaluable to anyone who is interested in pursuing an open adoption, but even for people who have no intention whatsoever to adopt, it's well-worth the time to read. A lot of people will see something of themselves in these two men, and the various dilemmas they face on the road of life, while often framed in a way that makes them sound as if they are problems exclusive to gay men, are actually applicable to us all. His fears of fatness and of being forgotten, his Irish Catholic guilt, his petty arguments, strike poignant chords. Savage makes you love him and his friends, and that's no small thing for a fiction writer and an even more monumental task when writing about oneself, a fundamentally vainglorious endeavor. Plus, I almost died laughing, especially during the first 5th, where the author lays out for the reader the details of his mentality and his daily life. Notes
: hardcover, 1st edition, out-of-print; trade paperback edition availableRating
- Both hilarious and hard-won. One of the best memoirs I've read in a long time.